fancake | OFMD: and if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away by Jack_R

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Fandom: Our Flag Means Death
Pairings/Characters: Izzy/Ed/Stede
Rating: E
Length: 8,358 words
Creator Links: Jack_R
Theme: competence

Summary: ‘Blackbeard said that,’ Izzy says. ‘Fucking Blackbeard told you to tell me to get you fucking pistachios.’

Reccer's Notes: Izzy is a bit of a miserable jerk in this story, but there are moments throughout this fic that show you that he really is a good sailor and pirate, and he has to explain things to Stede like you can't easily get food like pistachios in the Caribbean because they don't grow there naturally. This story was written after season one, so Izzy is a rougher and missing some of the softness we witnessed in season two.

Fanwork Links: AO3

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- princess diaries [3]
- princess tutu [4]
- prisoner [1]
- professionals [10]
- project runway [2]
- prometheus (2012) [3]
- protomen [2]
- psmith [1]
- psych [47]
- puella magi madoka magica [8]
- pulp fiction [1]
- push (2009) [2]
- pushing daisies [1]
- quantum leap [13]
- queen's gambit [1]
- queen's thief series [1]
- queer as folk uk [1]
- queer as folk us [12]
- queer eye (2003) [1]
- queer eye (2018) [1]
- rabbit-proof fence [1]
- radio 1 rpf [4]
- raising hope [1]
- ranma 1/2 [1]
- rapunzel [4]
- ratatouille [1]
- raven cycle [9]
- ray bradbury (works) [2]
- real genius [1]
- red [1]
- red dwarf [7]
- red shoes [1]
- renovators rpf [1]
- repo! the genetic opera [1]
- resident evil [1]
- return to night [1]
- revenge [1]
- revolutionary girl utena [4]
- riddick movies [2]
- ring of the nibelung [1]
- riptide [2]
- rise of the guardians [2]
- riverdale [3]
- rivers of london [30]
- rizzoli & isles [2]
- road to el dorado [2]
- robin hood [1]
- rocknrolla [1]
- rome [3]
- romeo and juliet [4]
- rosencrantz&guildenstern are dea [1]
- roswell [1]
- rurangi [1]
- rurouni kenshin [2]
- sabrina [1]
- saga [2]
- sailor moon [13]
- saiyuki [6]
- saki (works) [2]
- samurai champloo [5]
- sanctuary [1]
- sandman [10]
- sapphire and steel [3]
- sarah connor chronicles [33]
- sarah jane adventures [15]
- saving face [1]
- scandal [1]
- scarlet pimpernel [2]
- schitt's creek [6]
- scott pilgrim [1]
- scp foundation [1]
- scream (tv) [1]
- scrubs [1]
- scum villain [12]
- sea shanties [1]
- secret circle [1]
- secret garden [1]
- seinfeld [1]
- sense and sensibility [1]
- sense8 [3]
- sentinel [703]
- sesame street [4]
- seven brides for seven brothers [1]
- shades of magic series [1]
- shadowhunters [7]
- shakespeare (works) [17]
- shameless (us) [1]
- shanhe ling (word of honor) [1]
- sharpe [5]
- shawshank redemption [1]
- she-ra & the princesses of power [1]
- shelter [1]
- sherlock (bbc) [148]
- sherlock holmes (movie/book) [50]
- shin megami tensei devilsummoner [1]
- shut up flower boy band [1]
- silent hill [2]
- silmarillion [8]
- silver diamond [1]
- simpsons [4]
- sinbad (2012) [1]
- singer not the song [1]
- singin' in the rain [2]
- sisters [1]
- sixth sense [1]
- sky captain & the world of... [1]
- sky high [1]
- skyrim [1]
- sleeping beauty [5]
- sleepy hollow [10]
- slings and arrows [2]
- slip slidin' away - simon (song) [1]
- sly cooper [2]
- smallville [50]
- snow white [3]
- snow white and the huntsman [1]
- so you think you can dance [1]
- soccer rpf [7]
- social network [25]
- social network rpf [14]
- sociology rpf [1]
- something in my room [1]
- song of ice and fire [6]
- sono hanabira ni kuchizuke wo [1]
- sons of anarchy [2]
- sorcerer to the crown [1]
- sorority boys [1]
- sort of [1]
- soul eater [1]
- southland [5]
- space above and beyond [1]
- spaceballs [2]
- spartacus [1]
- speed movies [1]
- spider-man into the spider-verse [6]
- spider-man movies (2002) [4]
- spider-man movies (2012) [3]
- spirited away [5]
- spirou et fantasio [1]
- sports night [4]
- sports rpf [5]
- st trinian's [1]
- star trek deep space nine [37]
- star trek discovery [6]
- star trek enterprise [19]
- star trek picard [1]
- star trek reboot [209]
- star trek rihannsu [3]
- star trek rpf [21]
- star trek strange new worlds [1]
- star trek the next generation [35]
- star trek the original series [91]
- star trek voyager [23]
- star wars [210]
- star wars legends [2]
- star wars rebels [9]
- stardust [1]
- starfire series [1]
- stargate atlantis [666]
- stargate sg-1 [184]
- stargate universe [3]
- starman [1]
- starsky & hutch [7]
- static shock [2]
- stepford wives [1]
- stephanie plum series [1]
- stephen king (works) [2]
- steven universe [1]
- sting (1973) [1]
- strange case of starship iris [3]
- strange empire [1]
- stranger than fiction [1]
- stranger things [8]
- study in emerald [1]
- succession [1]
- sucker punch [2]
- suits [18]
- sungkyunkwan scandal [1]
- sunset boulevard [1]
- super dangan ronpa 2 [2]
- supergirl [2]
- superman (reeve movies) [1]
- superman returns [6]
- supernatural [186]
- supernatural rpf [2]
- survivor (novel) [1]
- survivors (2008) [1]
- swallows and amazons series [2]
- swimming rpf [1]
- sword [1]
- tactics [1]
- tale of the five series [1]
- tales of arcadia [1]
- tam lin [3]
- tanakh [7]
- tangled [8]
- tarzan [1]
- taskmaster [3]
- ted lasso [4]
- teen wolf [207]
- teen wolf rpf [2]
- tell the wolves i'm home [1]
- temeraire [38]
- ten commandments [1]
- tennis rpf [1]
- terminator movies [9]
- terror [1]
- thief of bagdad [1]
- thing (1982) [1]
- think of england [1]
- three men and a baby [1]
- tian guan ci fu [8]
- tiger & bunny [3]
- time traveler's wife [2]
- tin man [3]
- to wong foo... [1]
- tomb raider [1]
- top gear [2]
- top gun movies [1]
- torchwood [85]
- tortall [10]
- toy soldiers [1]
- toy story [3]
- trails of cold steel [1]
- transamerica [1]
- transformers [22]
- tron movies [1]
- troy [1]
- true blood [1]
- true detective [1]
- tsubasa reservoir chronicle [4]
- tsuritama [2]
- tv commercials [4]
- twelve dancing princesses [1]
- twice in a lifetime [2]
- twilight [5]
- twin peaks [1]
- txt [1]
- ugly betty [3]
- uk politics [1]
- ultraviolet [2]
- umbrella academy [1]
- uncharted [1]
- underground (tv) [1]
- untitled goose game [4]
- ursula k. le guin (works) [3]
- us politics [1]
- uuultra c [1]
- valdemar [1]
- vampire diaries [7]
- velveteen rabbit [1]
- venom [8]
- venture bros [1]
- verbotene liebe [1]
- veronica mars [21]
- victorious [1]
- vikings [2]
- villette [1]
- viper [1]
- vixx [4]
- voltron [4]
- vorkosigan series [55]
- voyage to the bottom of the sea [1]
- walking dead [10]
- wall-e [3]
- wandavision [1]
- wap - cardi b & megan thee(song) [1]
- war horse [1]
- warehouse 13 [4]
- warhorses of letters [1]
- watchmen [14]
- watership down [2]
- wayward children series [1]
- weird science [1]
- welcome to night vale [18]
- well of loneliness [1]
- west side story [3]
- west wing [14]
- whale rider [1]
- what if...? [1]
- what we do in the shadows (tv) [1]
- what we do in the shadows(movie) [1]
- white collar [25]
- whose line is it anyway [1]
- wiedzmin (witcher) [4]
- wild swans [1]
- wild wild west (tv) [1]
- william gibson (works) [1]
- winnie the pooh [4]
- wire [3]
- wiseguy [2]
- witchblade [2]
- wizard of oz [1]
- wizards of waverly place [4]
- wooden overcoats [1]
- world wrestling entertainment [1]
- wrinkle in time [2]
- x-files [101]
- x-files rpf [3]
- x-men movies [83]
- xena warrior princess [6]
- xkcd [1]
- xxxholic [3]
- y the last man [1]
- yami no matsuei [6]
- yoroiden samurai troopers [2]
- you've got mail [2]
- young wizards [5]
- youtube rpf [1]
- yu-gi-oh [3]
- yuri!!! on ice [16]
- zombies run! [2]
- zone blanche (black spot) [1]
- zootopia [2]
language
- deutsch [1]
- русский [2]
length
- 0 - 1.000 words [478]
- 0 - 5 minutes [422]
- 01.000 - 5.000 words [2416]
- 05 - 15 minutes [28]
- 05.000 - 10.000 words [1256]
- 10.000 - 20.000 words [1229]
- 15 - 30 minutes [24]
- 20.000 - 40.000 words [1095]
- 30 - 60 minutes [25]
- 40.000 - 60.000 words [479]
- 60+ minutes [70]
- 60.000 - 80.000 words [358]
- 80.000 & more words [828]
non-fic recs
- cake [2]
- crafts [18]
- fanart [250]
- fancomics/doujinshi [41]
- fanvid [428]
- food [1]
- gifs [2]
- meta [27]
- music [10]
  - filk [6]
- not!fic [3]
- podcast [3]
- podfic [146]
- poetry [3]
- recs [1]
- resources [1]
- textiles [7]
theme
- (five) things [87]
- (not really) character death [52]
- (not really) unrequited love [20]
- (secret) hobbies [20]
- (something) made them do it [23]
- accidental marriage [7]
- action/adventure [215]
- alternative professions [38]
- ambiguous relationships [21]
- amnesia [189]
- amnesty [912]
- angst (with a happy ending) [20]
- animals [42]
- apocalypse/dystopia [165]
- arranged marriage [52]
- arts & crafts [26]
- asexual & demisexual characters [40]
- au [1418]
  - complete au [793]
    - a/b/o [6]
    - academia [15]
    - age change [8]
    - animals [10]
    - anthropomorphic [8]
    - artists [12]
    - assassin-hitman [3]
    - assistants [4]
    - bdsm [4]
    - bodyguards [5]
    - camp [2]
    - celebrities-fame [15]
    - college [32]
    - corporate [12]
    - criminals-mob [10]
    - dance [1]
    - dystopia [34]
    - fairies [6]
    - fairytales [22]
    - fandom [5]
    - fantasy-magic [44]
    - farm-ranch [2]
    - fashion-models [4]
    - food service [18]
    - fusion [79]
    - gaming [1]
    - genderbend [12]
    - ghosts [3]
    - high school [31]
    - historical [82]
    - hospital [5]
    - hotline-radio [4]
    - incubus [2]
    - journalism [3]
    - law enforcement [29]
    - legal-lawyer [7]
    - magic [23]
    - mechanics [2]
    - mermaids [5]
    - military [6]
    - modern [85]
    - mundane [80]
    - music-bands [9]
    - nannies [2]
    - noir [8]
    - other-misc [41]
    - pirates [6]
    - politics [4]
    - pornstars [4]
    - prison [3]
    - prostitution [12]
    - racebend [2]
    - reality tv [5]
    - regency [10]
    - religion [5]
    - retail [6]
    - robots-ai [8]
    - royalty [28]
    - s.heroes-mutants [5]
    - science fiction [48]
    - scientists [2]
    - secret agent-spy [8]
    - slavery [5]
    - sports [12]
    - steampunk [5]
    - strippers [4]
    - supernatural [42]
    - teachers [8]
    - truckers [2]
    - unemployment [2]
    - vampires [17]
    - werewolves [15]
    - writer-publisher [4]
    - yoga-massage [1]
    - zombies [13]
  - fork in the road [629]
- backstory [93]
- battle couple [26]
- bdsm [34]
- big bangs [23]
- bisexual/pansexual characters [57]
- black characters [82]
- bodyswap [26]
- book fandoms [217]
- bring your fandom to work [8]
- canon alternate realities [81]
- canon lgbtq+ characters [120]
- casefic [264]
- character development [160]
- characters of color [607]
- clones & doppelgangers [41]
- comfortfic [289]
- competence [343]
- cops & crime [79]
- courtship [93]
- crack [97]
- crack treated seriously [27]
- creator recs [75]
- crossover pairings [36]
- crossovers/fusions [804]
- cuddling snuggling & bed-sharing [91]
- cultural differences [41]
- daemons [23]
- didn't know they were dating [13]
- diplomatic marriage [30]
- disability [87]
- domestic [114]
- dragons [32]
- enemies to friends (to lovers) [40]
- enemies to lovers [34]
- enemies working together [30]
- epic works [159]
- epistolary [93]
- essential starter recs [67]
- established relationship [344]
- established relationship + plot [37]
- everybody lives/nobody dies aus [87]
- everyone thinks we're dating [17]
- fake marriage [14]
- families of choice [254]
- family [464]
  - incest [16]
- fandom classics [117]
- fanvids [243]
- favorite fanworks [83]
- female characters [1111]
- female friendship [122]
- female relationships [23]
- femslash [296]
- first time [496]
- fix-it [289]
- folklore & fairytales [48]
- food & cooking [41]
- forced proximity [54]
- friends to lovers [329]
- friends with benefits [30]
- friendship [208]
- future fic [176]
- gateway fanworks [48]
- gen [293]
- genderfuck [246]
- genius in action [10]
- getting back together [50]
- going home [75]
- happy endings [36]
- heists & capers [45]
- historical aus [31]
- historical settings [37]
- huddling for warmth [11]
- humor [482]
- hurt/comfort [565]
- identity porn [23]
- in space [43]
- in vino veritas [22]
- indigenous characters [31]
- inept in love [13]
- interspecies pairings [90]
- interspecies stories [94]
- journey & travel [22]
- just plain fun [156]
- kidfic [450]
  - accidental baby [28]
  - as kids [119]
  - de-aged [20]
  - has/with kids [306]
  - next gen [8]
- languages & linguistics [37]
- loyalty kink [12]
- m/m/f threesomes [71]
- magic [40]
- magic au [27]
- marriage [282]
- marriage of convenience [102]
- minor characters [527]
- missing scenes [46]
- mistaken identities [26]
- multiverse people [19]
- mutual pining [54]
- mystery & suspense [12]
- mythical creatures [357]
  - angels/demons [46]
  - centaurs [3]
  - dragons [44]
  - fairies [15]
  - genie/djinn [3]
  - ghosts [45]
  - gods/devil [19]
  - incubus [4]
  - mermaids [15]
  - other [72]
  - unicorns [8]
  - vampires [58]
  - veela [2]
  - werewolves [50]
  - zombies [32]
- never met in canon [67]
- no canon required [45]
- non-sexual intimacy [18]
- novel-length fic [574]
- old fandoms [411]
- older characters [66]
- outsider pov [226]
- parallel univ. & dimension travel [37]
- pining [178]
- platonic life partners [23]
- plotty fic [71]
- politics [42]
- polyamory [225]
- post-canon [167]
- pre-ao3 works [194]
- pre-canon [57]
- pretend couple [174]
- psychic powers [52]
- rare pairings [441]
- regency aus [13]
- research [70]
- road trips [52]
- robots androids & ai [80]
- royalty aus [20]
- science fiction [279]
- secret identities [83]
- secret identity reveal [87]
- sentinel aus [23]
- series [108]
- sex pollen [23]
- shapeshifting [18]
- siblings [34]
- slow burn [62]
- small fandoms [522]
- snowed in [9]
- soulbonding [128]
- soulmate-identifying marks [49]
- soulmates [26]
- space aus [19]
- spells & curses [56]
- spies & assassins [34]
- stranded [16]
- superpowers [195]
- team as family [59]
- teams [103]
- telepathy [111]
- tentacles [29]
- threesome [59]
- time loops [26]
- time travel [298]
- time travel fix-it [72]
- trans & non-binary characters [44]
- trauma & recovery [77]
- trope subversion & inversion [64]
- uncommon settings [19]
- unconventional format & style [63]
- undercover [13]
- undercover as a couple [16]
- underloved fanworks [37]
- unusual jobs [15]
- urban fantasy [70]
- wings [35]
- women being awesome [51]
- working together [21]
- worldbuilding [241]
- worldbuilding & logistical fix-it [35]
- wrong universe [22]
- xeno/alien biology [51]

Style Info

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